Organized Crazy Addicts

[LeeBe]

Info : just in from USAF

"Squawks" are problem listings that USAF pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight.

Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. (true stuff)

(P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION

(P) Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tyre

(P) Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough
(S) Auto-land not installed on this aircraft

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage

(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Dead bugs on windshield
(S) Live bugs on order

(P) Auto-pilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
(S) That's what they're there for

(P) Number three engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

(P) Aircraft handles funny
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious

(P) Target Radar hums
(S) Re-programmed Target Radar with the lyrics